Femme FATale


why i love my family
September 30, 2008, 9:49 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , ,

my mother’s family is embroiled in an ugly inheritance-related battle right now. my poor grandmother is alive to have to witness the insane greed of one of her sons and the ways in which it will change her family’s relationships forever. after a really explosive family meeting at my grandmother’s on sunday where my father and my mom’s brother nearly came to physical blows (which, what?!), my parents came home and told me all the gritty details. we sat around the kitchen table quietly for a few seconds and then it started…and by “it”, i mean endless references to the godfather. because in times of crisis, really, what else is an italian-american family supposed to do?

begin scene.

mom: well, i guess we all know what this means…it’s time to go to the mattresses!

dad: yeah, too bad he doesn’t have a horse we could behead and stick in his bed!

me: we could always just send him a wrapped up fish?

mom: what??

me: you know! “it’s a sicilian message. it means luca brazzi sleeps with the fishes!”

dad: cue godfather voice, “my boy! look what they did to my boy!”

mom: “leave the gun! take the cannolis!”

me: whistling the godfather theme song.

end scene.

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1 Comment so far
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What an unfortunate situation. If I were dying I’d make sure that he got less than everyone else!

Comment by Miss Avarice




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